A wise blogger once advised me to “think twice, post once.” I don’t always heed that insight, though I do try to thing through what I post here. And not here only; with facebook, twitter, other blogs, and a plethora of interactive websites, we are all lured to type without thinking.
For instance, a friend of mine has a friend who lost a child. While still pregnant, and almost to term, she found one day that her baby had stopped moving. A physician confirmed that the baby had died, and scheduled a C-section for the next day. Imagine going back home for a night to return again to the hospital the next day to deliver a baby you already know has not survived.
Perhaps, on a day following such horrific tragedy, you post on Facebook that it’s been the worst day in your life. Now, imagine reading this on your Facebook:
I hate to say this- but no, the worst day of your life would be losing [your 2 year old son]. You’ve had [2 year old son’s name] almost 2 yrs. I know ur missing [baby’s name] so very much. I wish someone could do something to make your burden lighter. When my heart is heavy- I endure(I may not cope very well) and I just think that there’s some purpose to it that I am going to … You’ve got THE MOST wonderful husband and son ever. I know you feel overwhelmed with saddness right now….you are supposed to. BUT honey- what you don’t know is life can be so much more cruel than you losing [baby’s name]…I know you can’t see that right now- but it’s true….I love you and I think your amazing. I am just so glad you have [your husband]…..I’ve never known such a kind man accept your own daddy.
Wow. When is it ever the right time to tell a grieving mother that “life can be so much more cruel than you losing” your baby? There is never a need for such words.
This all reminds me of something I learned a couple of decades ago now. The church I was a part of had one person who had the habit (gift) of brutal honesty. This person told like she saw it, no matter what. The congregation had grown fairly comfortable with her operating this way; they loved her and just dealt with it when thing rolled out of her mouth that others may also have thought but wouldn’t dare say.
Someone shared a proverb that fit her habit, as well as the above cited Facebook post:Honesty is a virtue, but it isn’t the greatest of the virtues. Grace is a greater virtue than honesty.
May we all be grace-fully honest today.