Experiments in Honesty – Book Review

experiments in honestyI read Steve Daugherty’s Experiments in Honesty as my first blogger review book in a long time. What a great choice to get back on that horse with! Full disclosure: I received a free copy of the book based on my promise to blog a review of it. The content of the review is entirely up to me.

The advice offering part of my brain seems more acutely willing to weigh in than it has for many years. There were, of course, the years of early adulthood when, as Mark Twain might have observed, “I still knew everything.” I was eager to dole out advice then.

Though nostalgia and seeing 60 coming on faster than a speed limit have apparently resurrected a propensity in me to offer advice, solicited or not, I have taken Steve Daugherty’s practice in this book under advisement.

In other words, sharing insight drawn from my own experience and observation comes across better than “Ok, now, here’s what I need to teach you: listen up….”

Experiments in Honesty is the opposite of a preaching practice I’ve come to notice lately. Some preachers actually parathensize the phrase “you listen to me here” throughout their messages.

If I’m not already listening to you, telling me to do so will not make me start in the middle of a message.

Daugherty, starts from the other side. This book of full of rich stories plumbed from a hunger and thirst for righteousness. The reader shall be filled, if only he or she follows along.

Perhaps I am struck because I see so much of myself in his stories. When he compares his response to feeling hunger, “I’ll make myself a sandwich” to his wife’s, “I will feed the family, because if I’m hungry they probably are, too.” caught me gently off guard and exactly where it should. Guilty as charged. Yet I wasn’t condemned in my guilt; I was drawn towary this book that is about looking inside. It offers a way to see and understand and grow and recognize that me simply trying to become someone else is the opposite of the point of the gospel.

You’ll find yourself in Experiments in Honesty, and it’ll be a you you want to find, and a you you want to grow. It’ll make you want to know yourself and God better; not because “you better, or else!” but because you are both worth knowing better.

 

I agree with Sarah Huckabee Sanders

One of the challenges of blogging about an event a few days after that event is saying something new or different.

I am going to assume you’ve read or heard or both about the Lexington, Va. restaurant that refused service to Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

I am not going to wade into the specific event or arguments on either side of it.

Instead, I want to lift up one sentence from Ms. Sanders’ tweet. This sentence is

Her actions say far more about her than about me.

I agree with this. I believe this is a true statement not only for Ms. Wilkinson and Ms. Sanders, but for all of us.

My actions say more about me than about you, or anyone else.

Your actions say more about you than about anyone else.

Do you agree?

By the way, IF this is true for others, it is also true for you. It is not something you can just choose to use to explain away other people’s actions.

But if you do, then, well, that says more about you than about them.

Who am I to tell you…?

question.jpgCan I admit to you here how much I hate being treated like I don’t know what I’m doing?

Except, of course, when I am admittedly a novice or rookie.

But: I’ve been at this pastoring thing for almost 30 years! So when someone approaches me – especially when they condescendingly share that it’s from the Holy Spirit – that I need to change this or stop doing that or start preaching this other way/topic/etc., I really, sometimes, want to scream.

So far, I haven’t scream in the face of anyone who has so intended to bless me.

You see, that’s the problem: in most every case (if not EVERY case), the intent is to bless, not to curse. The condescending tone belies the fact that, and I have to believe this, most everyone is really just doing the best they can.

Sometimes, someone else’s “best” includes advising me on something I have compiled a good bit of experience, prayer, reflection, and study on. So it hurts.

On the other hand: there are areas outside – even WAY outside – of my expertise on which I readily offer unsolicited and probably suggestions and insights.

Hopefully I don’t do so with any condescension in my voice.

Because, more often than not, I’m just doing the best I can.

Who are our customers?

Sermon #3 in our Branded series, preached Sunday, May 1 at Euless First United Methodist Church

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“I gave you a $20. You gave me change for a 10!”

One of the hardest lessons for me to learn working a counter register or the drive-through window at McDonald’s was “The customer is always right.” In this particular case, this is why we were trained to leave the bill or bills the customer gave us lying across the top of the cash drawer until after the exchange was complete.

Honestly, if you were selling $1000 an hour worth of McDonalds in the early 80’s, and we were, it was pretty easy to slip the bill into its slot and move on to counting out the change, and forget if they paid with a $5, a $10, or a $20. And it was pretty easy to miskey the amount tendered.

I’ll just admit this: it was pretty easy to make any of a HUGE variety of mistakes; which, I’m sure, is why every job a crew person could do at McDonald’s was laid out step-by-step.

But, really, “the customer is always right”?  If the customers know that, won’t they all try to take advantage of you?  

Apparently not.  Over the years and thousands of customers, I have no doubt that a few folk intentionally took advantage.  Most, though, were too busy just living their own lives to be constantly looking for ways to cheat or take advantage of others.

(If you feel strongly that everyone, or almost everyone is usually looking for ways to cheat or take advantage of others, I suggest what you are seeing is reflective of something within yourself)

So, this morning, let’s begin with this question, How does ‘the customer is always right’ figure into the metaphor we have been pursuing with this “Branded” sermon series?  

That question begs this additional question: who are our customers?

But, before we get to that, here’s a recap of the first two weeks of the series:  The BRAND we all share is that we are created in God’s very image as reminders for each other, and for ourselves when we look in a mirror, of who our Creator is. Even more than that, the BRAND we all share is God’s story; because a brand is not a picture or logo or song or video: a brand is the story evoked by the picture, logo, song, or video.

So we, as human beings, all bear the image of God, and this image is linked to God’s story. Here is a short version of God’s story (would you understand if I called it the “reader’s digest condensed version?)

Act 1: creation – good and very good! Act 2: sin, Act 3: Israel – God raises up a people to reach all the rest of the people Act 4: Jesus -Jesus becomes the faithful human in and through whom all are offered healing and hope from their sin Act 5: Church – Church is literally a  “called-out people” whom God intends to embody the Kingdom of God already present on earth, here and now.

That’s the Brand we all share.  Last week we built on this by defining the business we are in. We are in the business of making disciples of Jesus Christ, and we can only make disciples by being disciples. Being a disciple is really pretty straightforward: it is following Jesus.

The more and the more closely we follow Jesus, the more we will come to find ourselves becoming more like Jesus.

So, that’s the Brand we all share, and the business we are in.

Some of you may still be uncomfortable with the branding/business metaphor.  I use this metaphor based on the belief that Jesus taught in metaphors of fishing and shepherding and the like because that was the world he lived in.  I fully believe that if Jesus were here among us today, he would use metaphors that are familiar to us – among them, those of shopping, business, branding, and, though it is still difficult for me to admit this, consumerism.

Sticking with this metaphor, I ask you this morning, if our business is making disciples, then who are our customers?

I want to clarify this: Our business is NOT being disciples, but making them. Abraham’s mission in Genesis 12 was to

“Leave your land, your family, and your father’s household for the land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation and will bless you. I will make your name respected, and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,
   those who curse you I will curse;
       all the families of the earth
           will be blessed because of you.”  (Genesis 12:1-4)

Likewise, Jesus’ mission is well summed up in this morning’s Gospel reading:

God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him won’t perish but will have eternal life. God didn’t send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through him.  (John 3:16-17)

And again, as Paul cites in Philippians 2:

Though he was in the form of God,
       he did not consider being equal with God something to exploit.
But he emptied himself
       by taking the form of a slave
       and by becoming like human beings.
When he found himself in the form of a human,
       he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death,
       even death on a cross.
Therefore, God highly honored him
       and gave him a name above all names,
   so that at the name of Jesus everyone
       in heaven, on earth, and under the earth might bow
       and every tongue confess that
           Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  (Philippians 2:6-11)

And leading into this magnificent poetry, Paul writes, “Adopt the attitude that was in Christ Jesus.”

So the customer is “all the families of the earth,” and “the world,” as in “that the world might be saved through him.”

Let me make this clear: like Abraham, Jesus, and Paul, We are NOT the customer.  We once were the customer, but, within this metaphor, we’ve been hired on, and now you and I are at the cash register ready to take people’s orders and do business for our brand.

Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on this truth: you and I are NOT the customer!  If we are already disciples of Jesus Christ, then we are no longer the customer.

A brief riff on what it means that we aren’t the customer.  Worship isn’t about what you and I “want.” You and I aren’t the audience in worship, even IF you are a customer – someone who hasn’t yet decided to follow Jesus.

It is too easy for us, as Christians, as followers of Jesus, to get caught up in what we want worship to be, what we think worship ought to be.  But remember, God is the audience of worship, not you and me.  What God wants in worship, what God wants from worship, is for us to acknowledge God. What God wants from worship is for God’s story to be remembered, recited, re-invigorated, carried forth into our lives and into the world.

This is HUGE!  This means that what we do here, for the brand, to “sell” the brand to others, or to make disciples, cannot be about what you and I want. It is about the brand and the customer.

Is the customer always right?  Honestly, no.  But few of us have the chops to decide when the customer is right and when he or she isn’t.

As a crew member at McDonald’s, I had to operate from the position of the customer always being right. When this got challenging, I couldn’t make the call, I had to call the manager, and let the manager decide.

I believe we should operate from the same perspective.

The manager was better trained to be able to do what really needed to be done if the customer was, in fact wrong, and that was to find a way to stand firm without alienating the customer.

If our customers are “everyone out there” who isn’t already a disciple of Jesus and who doesn’t have a church family, how do we find ways to interact with them where we can stand firm as disciples without alienating them?

I don’t know if this helps or not, but according to the Gospels, about the only people Jesus alienated are the really religious. Oh, yeah, and maybe that rich guy who didn’t want to share.

Sometimes, we as followers of Jesus wear our ability to alienate people like a badge of honor. When we do so, we are not serving the business we are in, and we are not following Jesus.

Looking at the gospel in the metaphor of sales and consumerism, the customer is anyone who has not yet accepted the Gospel as truth and began following Jesus.

Ah, but today’s gospel reading reminds us it isn’t only them, “out there” who are customers. Nicodemus was an insider.  He was a Pharisee, a religious leader. But Nicodemus recognized a disconnection between his own life and what Jesus was teaching, so he came to Jesus, humble, and curious, to learn. Perhaps, even, to follow, to become a disciple.

So, for the customers – all those out there and in here who are willing, like Nicodemus, to acknowledge a disconnection between their life and what Jesus is teaching, can we, as followers of Jesus, treat them, our customers, as if they are always right?

Even if we are firmly convinced they are NOT?

So, when in doubt; let’s check with the manager.  In our lives as disciples, Jesus is the manager.

When you find it most difficult to assume someone else is right, but your goal is to invite them, or win them, or convince them, to follow Jesus, it is on you to keep the conversation open.

If, that is, you want to make the sale. Which means you believe Jesus, and following Jesus, is a valuable experience that God, and you, want everyone to have. You are a disciple, and you want to make more disciples. That is the business we are in!

There are challenging people out there!  There are challenging people in here!  I personally have driven some of you near crazy!

And there are people in the world around us – in our community, in our schools, our neighbors, our co-workers, who make it really difficult for us to remember, sometimes, that Jesus loves them, too, at least as much as Jesus loves us.

So, when it gets difficult, invite Jesus into your challenge.

What do you think Jesus would say? That God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him won’t perish but will have eternal life. God didn’t send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through him.

If they are part of “the world,” then God loves them, and sent Jesus for them, and they are our customer.

So, when you have trouble, don’t walk away from the sale, but invite Jesus in.

Our job is to treat our customers well enough that, even if they don’t get their money back, or their order corrected, or free food, they might still consider coming back.

Can you treat all customers in a way that even if they don’t buy what you’re selling this time, they might consider coming back another time?

Anyone who walked away from Jesus disappointed or their wishes or expectations unfulfilled was pretty clear it was on them, not on Jesus.

Can you and I learn to treat our customers this well?

Are you willing to live in this simple phrase from the Apostle Paul in Romans 12:18: If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people.

Let me put that in context for you:

9 Love should be shown without pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to what is good. 10 Love each other like the members of your family. Be the best at showing honor to each other. 11 Don’t hesitate to be enthusiastic—be on fire in the Spirit as you serve the Lord! 12 Be happy in your hope, stand your ground when you’re in trouble, and devote yourselves to prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of God’s people, and welcome strangers into your home. 14 Bless people who harass you—bless and don’t curse them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying. 16 Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. Instead, associate with people who have no status. Don’t think that you’re so smart. 17 Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good. 

18 If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people. 19 Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I will pay it back, says the Lord. 20 Instead, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing this, you will pile burning coals of fire upon his head. 21 Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good.        (Romans 12:9-21)

Who are our customers?  Anyone, everyone who can become a disciple of Jesus Christ.  How do we reach our customer, how do we make them our customer – how do we convince them that they want – or need – what we have?

We begin by learning to do this: If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people.

I feel compelled to add this: we cannot let ourselves off so easy on the “to the best of your ability” part.  If you follow Jesus, you don’t get to throw up your hands and say, “well, I’m just a sinner,” or
“That’s just the human condition!” or whatever other line you and I use in our heads to cop out on following Jesus.

One of the worst is “Don’t look at me, look at Jesus!” Oh, pullease! No one will look at the Jesus you point to over there if that Jesus looks a lot different from the one you are modeling.

We owe it to our customers – to those we would reach for Christ; we owe it to God – to welcome God’s transforming power into our lives so we can say, “this following Jesus thing that I am trying to sell you, look at how it works in my life!”

And, to close, one of the most obvious ways you and I, as followers of Jesus, can “to the best of our ability, live at peace with all people.”

Will you join me in refusing to participate in the demeaning name-calling and venom-spewing that is our presidential election season?

Putting Jesus “First”

“Put Jesus first.”  I feel like I hear this a lot.  The scripture that has informed our current sermon series, Colossians 1:15-20, supports this directive.  It says, after all, in verse 18

He is the head of the body, the church,
who is the beginning,
the one who is firstborn from among the dead
so that he might occupy the first place in everything.

But what does “putting Jesus first” look like?

In our society, people who “get to go first” don’t have to stand in line like everyone else. They receive protection from all the normal people; they can have guards and gates and get ushered to the front row or the luxury boxes.

Not only was Jesus NOT treated this way; there is no indication that Jesus ever sought to be treated this way.  In fact, I’m reminded that he said that “Whoever wants to be first among you will be your slave—  just as the Son of Man didn’t come to be served but rather to serve and to give his life to liberate many people.” (Matthew 20:27-28)

Jesus WAS the head, the firstborn from among the dead. He DOES and WILL occupy the first place among everything.  He was also so secure in his relationship with God that he felt no need to act like it, or to show it off. In fact, he emptied himself, humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:7-8)

May you and I, and all who are trying to follow Jesus, be secure enough in our relationship with God that we, too, might not seek to be recognized as first, or as more important than others. May we follow the way of Jesus – and, in doing so, we’ll find we are putting Jesus first.